once burned, lesson learned.

there are moments in my day where i miss you,
even though i know i’m not supposed to
because you left with no other option except to agree
that you and i couldn’t be together, but you left no choice for me,
you had all the time in the world to forget
and now i have a lifetime to regret…
everything i never said,
or did, it will always be in my head,
in the back, pounding against its cages to be let out
because it doesn’t understand what this shit is about,
and to be honest, neither do i,
because every time i asked you “why”
you sit back, smile, and say “its not forever,
baby, i just need time to get my head together,
i still want you though,
baby, i still love you, you know”
but no, i dont know because if you meant it
then you wouldn’t be trying to beat me in wit
but you can’t outsmart me with the game your playin
cause i already know what it really is you are sayin’;
do not mistake me for the girl you dated last
because i am not a repeat of your fucking past,
i will not wait for you, i will not chase after you,
so you can keep on expecting me too
but i have too much self respect
to anticipate your neglect,
i know i am worthy
of someone who can truly love me.
…i just wish it were you,
and secretly, i know you do too.

dear ex boyfriends….do not tell a girl “i still want to be with you”…and girls, do not listen to them when they say this, because the fact is if they really wanted to be with you, they’d fucking be with you, yeah, you two wouldn’t be single.

i just learned this shit yesterday.

that is all.

the moment when you realize you have no friends.

…and i must say, i lived this one quite invaluably.

but its midnight now, and if she were here, she’d be the first to wish me happy birthday…a birthday without her isn’t so happy. i honestly have nothing to do, and probably nobody to celebrate with….

…suddenly things began to change, not just in the mind, but in the heart as well. i wonder, is this the price we pay for indifference?